No Pain~ No Gain~ (Pt 1)
Hee... I suppose many of u will blur blur with my title today. Well, actually when I was reading kimberlycun's blog saying she wanted to do a diet, and I told her I lost 8kg in 2.5 months, she got very interested. So, asked me to tell her bout that. Ok, since it is kind of a long story, I decided to share with ur all my own experience, hope that it is useful for anyone of u out there who wanted to have a safe and healthy diet. Yes, no pain by doin all those liposuction or stomach scale down, neither do u hv to spend extra money on eating pills or go to hv special biometrics programme... And what is the most important thing is remaining u with a healthy life and without the danger of rebounding.
I started my diet plan since end of March 2004. But before that, let me tell u how my diet fights have been goin on for all these years.
In fact, it has been uncounted times I was trying very hard to do a diet. I used many diet methods, including a very extreme one. But I never consume any drug for the purpose of dieting. The side effects of these chemical stuffs cannot convince me in taking them. Neither did I hv money for that. There was a period in high school time when I was deeply depress becoz of dieting. I need a diet tat time, because I felt very low self esteem. And my crush on someone has been growing stronger and stronger, but I couldn't say it out at all. Outside, I was a normal happy-go-lucky fish fish. Only god knew wat kind of big conflict was happening inside me.
Everyday, I only allowing myself to eat half small ball of rice. And doing sports for 2 hrs per day, aerobic and jogging. That time, my body was really in a shaking conditions, but yes, my clothes get looser, but I was very unhappy. Bad temper indeed. Mum was saying I look very pale, but she didn't know at all I was keeping such a diet. Neither do my other family and frens. Mum got angry very much when she knew I was on a diet. I was omost into a stage of getting aneroxia nervosa. Light gastric symptom oso attacking me that time. I was in the border line until my depression explored. And that turned into something very extreme. I eat like crazy. Imaging, I can binged on 3 plates of rice with plenty of side dishes. And after that, I still can finish 2 big packs of potato chips. But my hunger for foods were still on. That was the time when I was in Form 6, a very depressing time for STPM, cause STPM never really something I wanted to study. I kept blaming my parents for forcing me studying that. My results were terrible. I never got so much red colour in my report for the whole life. I dun even felt like discussing the content of study with anyone else. And I didn't care bout my outlook nor my body shape. I was lucky for the final 2 months my mind was clearer a bit for me to study for the last minutes. And yes, I was lucky enough to get enough points to go into the course I wanted to study.
The Form 6 time, all I want was eat and eat. I felt safe when eating. But I felt guilty very much after that, and I force myself to purge for throwing out the food. The feeling and pain was killing. I didn't do it often, only once a while, but that was bitter enough. After that, I wanted to eat again. Imagine I could finish 1kg of roasted peanut in one go. My mouth was numb until I put the whole kg of peanut inside my stomach. I gain omost 10kg during my study when I finished my STPM. I didn't know that was a bulimia nervosa syndrom until I was in UKM studying Food Science and Nutrition.
I didn't know how did I overcone it. I guess I was really lucky to overcome all these by myself. But many young gals and women around the world these days, still suffering from these illnesses.
In UKM, I was even in greater pressure. Of my study... and private matters. I need to maintain my results, for 6 terms continuously on top. But, I love the course I hv chosen. I wouldn't talk much on that. I was glad I choose this field to study. I learnt so much things bout food. But I became the type that 'eat to release pressure'. My weight went up another 10kg during end of my 2nd year UKM life. I think I was 72kg. I look even more terrible outside. The situation like this continued until the 3rd year of my undergraduate. Which was my final year too. We had to start a final year project for writing thesis. Then my eating habit changed. I couldn't eat when feeling stressful. And I was very very busy with my research. Owez run up and down between labs. Then, within 2 months, I lost 6kg, without doing it purposely. I guess that time I hv done a lot of body movement everyday. And less eating. So, my body had to consume my storage energy then.
Ok, when I came to Japan. I was very happy bout how lucky I was for able to come here to further my studies. But then, I was very unhappy too for certain reasons. Hee... skip on that.
Anyway, end of last year, even though I told my prof I was goin to do a diet for a reunion of secondary school's frens, but I didn't make it. A Chinese gal, Wang Hao in my lab starting to do her diet. She has been really continuing it. Everyday, she was very busy collecting all the info from internet, and modifying them to fit her own plan. Seeing her good result, I was tempted to start my own one.
So I declared in my lab:"Ashita kara dayetto shimasu!" (I will start my dieting tomolo).
Yamano sensei:"Yang san, mata kouiu hanashi desuka. Muri!" He laughed. (Yamano sensei was a 1 year research student in my lab. He has been listening me saying want diet, and yet keep putting food in my mouth. So, think he oso kind of tired hearing me repeating the word 'diet'. So, he answered me with 'Impossible, Yong'.)
I don't know why, I hv never so burnt with flame to prove that he was wrong. My spirit woke up. And I know what I was goin to do. Just like the time when I started to become a vegetarian, and everyone think that it was impossible. Wait and see, I'll proof ur hypothesis was wrong.
Hee... ok, I'll stop here for the 1st part. Once I hv written then, I will post my next part on how I do my dieting programme for these few months. ;) Till then, stay tune.
For those looking for a food post, sorry, will be postpone for a few days until this topic is over.